Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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