I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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