well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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