its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Also, beer. Big fan.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
