Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I have fence marks all over my body
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize