We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Randomize
