he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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