Is it normal to miss your booty call?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
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