He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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