hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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