i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Soap is not a condiment
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
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