party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize
