I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
