Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
