Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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