I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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