i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
