My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize