omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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