Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
