I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
