Kareoke will never be a sober sport
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
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