dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize