And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
