i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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