So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
