I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
