So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
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