That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
