The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize