I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
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