Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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