Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
The best revenge is premature balding
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Randomize
