I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
did i walk over a car last night?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
