I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
