i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Success! We fucked roommates!
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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