My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I just found puke in my bra..
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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