People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Randomize
