Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize