there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize