69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Randomize
