Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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