Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
