chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
