So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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