i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Randomize