So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize