the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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