The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Randomize
