Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
operation harelip BJ is a go
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize