is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
