Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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