Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Randomize
