You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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