So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
