Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
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