Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Randomize
